Deck the halls with bowls of candy;
fa la la la la…
‘Tis the season for elastic waistband-y;
fa la la la la…
Don we now our big sweatpantsies;
fa la la la la la la la la!
As we scarf chocolate ganache-ee;
fa la la la la… you know the rest.
The holidays are here and I can detect the aroma of fresh baked pie, eggnog, Christmas cookies and fear. Fear smells like lycra and tight leather belts. It creeps upon me like a snug, tucked-in shirt and squeezes my muffin-top with unrelenting pressure. And then — just when I think I might be able to resist the inviting tin of Williams Sonoma peppermint bark — my powers of magical thinking return and I’m suddenly able to eat a sheet of that delectable bark with the full expectation that I will actually lose weight due to the fat-burning properties of hot sweet peppermint.
I perused some tips for avoiding the usual 1 – 2 pound weight gain that afflicts many people during this time of year and unfortunately, most of us keep that added weight through the New Year. So if we were to pretend that I’m 53 years old, that would mean I could be hefting around an extra 106 pounds of holiday cheer. Ho ho ho! I don’t want that. I want to lower my BMI and enjoy the second wardrobe that has been hanging in my closet for four years waiting for me to retrofit myself.
Here are the Holiday Health Tips I’ve been studying:
- Engage in regular aerobic exercise. (Does shivering count as aerobic exercise?)
- Aim for 7 servings of fruit and vegetables daily to help fill me up and keep me from bingeing on sweets. (I think I’ll have to carry a backpack full of carrots, celery and oranges)
- Have a healthy meal or snack before going out at night so I’m not too tempted by high-calorie foods served at parties. (The danger here is that I’ll end up eating two, perhaps three, meals)
- Tote around healthy snacks so if I’m confronted with eggnog, I can hurry and eat an apple. (Pardon me hostess, I have to annihilate this apple before you offer me your spiced eggnog!)
- Say no, politely. (As opposed to saying NO rudely. For example: “Remove that platter of sugar cookies immediately or I shall call the authorities! Can’t you see I’m trying to improve my body mass index?”)
Joking aside, these are good tips and I may have to write them down on the back of my right hand, the hand that reaches for all manner of sweets and buttery things.
I do want to make it through this season with minimal damage to myself yet without feeling that I’ve missed out on some of the delicacies of the Yuletide. Again, I’m reminded of the theory of portion control. Because the word “control” makes me feel oddly rebellious, I’m going to change that phrase to “portion awareness” and see how far that takes me.
Happy Holidays to everyone, and let’s all have a healthier New Year.