Deck the halls with bowls of candy;
fa la la la la…
‘Tis the season for elastic waistband-y;
fa la la la la…
Don we now our big sweatpantsies;
fa la la la la la la la la!
As we scarf chocolate ganache-ee;
fa la la la la… you know the rest.
The holidays are here and I can detect the aroma of fresh baked pie, eggnog, Christmas cookies and fear. Fear smells like lycra and tight leather belts. It creeps upon me like a snug, tucked-in shirt and squeezes my muffin-top with unrelenting pressure. And then — just when I think I might be able to resist the inviting tin of Williams Sonoma peppermint bark — my powers of magical thinking return and I’m suddenly able to eat a sheet of that delectable bark with the full expectation that I will actually lose weight due to the fat-burning properties of hot sweet peppermint.
Resolve to be an embarrassment to your children. It’s good for you.
There comes a time for every parent when we realize that we’ve become a hindrance to our children’s social success. Our very presence can spell doom, especially if we’re dressed inappropriately – and we’re always dressed inappropriately – and heaven forbid if we were to open our mouths and speak while within earshot of our teenagers’ compadres. (At this very moment, a teenager is cringing over my use of the word “compadres”).
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, even for hypocrites.
Teton Valley Health Care’s Ann Loyola braves the chilly morning temperatures to pass out Brake for Breakfast bags full of breast health information and snacks.
Similar to a construction contractor who has time to build and renovate everyone’s homes except for his own, I have exhorted countless women and men to stop making excuses and get their mammograms, all the while ignoring my own past-due screening.